Sex Dreams

Hi Ian, Although we have an honest and open intimate life, my wife keeps having really saucy dreams. Sometimes these involve me and sometimes they don’t – should I be worried that she might run off with someone else and have an affair?

Dream Meaning
When we dream of sex, we are usually becoming aware of an exciting situation in our waking lives. This excitement usually involves the conception of a unique idea or a plan and the various ways that we might bring it into life. You probably know what your wife’s special idea is and have seen how excited she is by it. Whatever her plan is, it is filling her with confidence and pleasure and is making her far more aware of her unique talents.

As your wife explores her plan in waking life, she will be experimenting with different concepts and trying to position them in different ways. In exploring this range of ideas, she will have to go beyond the edge of her every day experience and this may result in thoughts that may initially appear to be too weird or intense.

When an intimate partner has saucy dreams, it is all too easy to imagine that they no longer find us attractive and sexy. However, your wife is sharing these dreams with you because she knows that she can’t bring her plans into life without your intimate and loving support. Without you helping to straighten out the kinks in her plans, they will remain as mere fantasies.

This Man

In yesterday’s Sun newspaper, there was an intriguing article about a mystery dream man that thousands of people claim to have seen in their dreams. Apparently the man’s face first appeared in a sketch drawn by a dreamer for her psychiatrist.

The dreamer had never met this man in her waking reality but was able to produce a detailed sketch of him from her dreams. Her psychiatrist showed the sketch to other dreamers who also claimed to have seen the man in their dreams and then a website was set up to collect other dream sightings of This Man.

We often dream of people that we don’t know and have never met; these people represent parts of our own identity that are unknown and unfamiliar to us. Dreaming of a strange man indicates that we are becoming aware of previously unknown personal strengths and individual skills.

As I described in Shining and Sensing in How To Dream, we shine our individual awareness out into the spaces around us and try to make sense of what we see reflected back. When we are trying to connect with our deeper strengths and skills, we will often dream of unknown men.

The man in the sketch functions as a reflector of our perceptions about our strengths and this image would be useful as part of an apperception test. Henry Murray and Christiana Morgan produced the first Thematic Apperception Test in the 1930′s and it is used to elicit personal stories and individual myths from a client’s unconscious.

However, the solution to the pervasive appearance of this man is more likely to be found by doing some domain ownership analysis, rather than dream analysis. The domain thisman.org was registered  by an Italian marketing agency, guerrigliamarketing.it.

Now Italian isn’t one of my stronger languages, but I’m guessing that guerrigliamarketing.it is some sort of guerilla marketing agency. So rather than This Man being a manifestation of our private myths and public dreams, it is in fact a manufactured viral advertising campaign.

Vegetarian Meat Eater

Hi Ian, I am a strict vegetarian but over the past few weeks I have been have a recurring dream where I am eating a large rare steak. As I bite into it I can taste the blood running out of it and I am ashamed to say that I really enjoy the texture and flavour of the meat as I chew it. As an affirmed veggie, I am finding these dreams both disturbing and intriguing. What does it mean?

Dream Meaning
When we dream of eating food, we are usually reflecting on ways of achieving personal fulfilment in our waking lives. Although you are a vegetarian, the meat that you are eating in your dream indicates a particular opportunity for achievement in your waking life. Like the rare steak in your dream, this is a rare opportunity for you and is probably a situation where there is a lot ‘at stake’.

Dreaming of blood often represents passion and vitality, so this juicy opportunity is something that will revitalise you because you are really passionate about it. You are really savouring the prospect as you chew it over, although you are feeling slightly guilty because you think that you do not really deserve this unique chance.

In its original form, meat is simply animal muscle and we use our muscles to provide power, movement and action. In your dream, this indicates that you need to act soon to ensure a successful outcome for this opportunity. It won’t happen on its own and so you need to move strongly and quickly to make it happen. This is not a situation where you can afford to mince about or cook up an elaborate scheme. Be confident and act now.