Hi Ian, I’ve bought your book and I must say that it is really interesting, so I am mailing you to check if my interpretation of my dream is correct. I’ve been having a relationship with my boyfriend for the last two and a half years and we’ve been having some problems. We started living together since 1sth of May 2011. My boyfriend is great, but we recently took a break at the beginning of the year because of some things he did (example: cheating) and because of stories I’ve heard about him from his best friend (who has been known to lie). Now I’ve been having a dream about this situation: I’m walking with my boyfriend in the city and we turn into an alley. There we come across a group of people who are beating up someone. This happens to be my boyfriend’s best friend. The people who are beating him up tell my boyfriend (because he wants to help his friend): we’ll leave him alone, but then we get your girl… My boyfriend agrees, they force themselves on me and my boyfriend and his best friend walk away laughing. Now I know that this is a cruel dream, but it’s really bothering me. That’s why I bought your book… But I don’t really know how to see this dream, I hope you can help. Greetins, Jana.


It is often the nature of dreams to be working on more than one level, reflecting both an internal process and a situation in your waking life, that directly mirror each other. So whilst your intuition about the interpretation of this dream (being related to your boyfriend) is most likely to be correct, it may also be correct to say that this situation is reflecting some qualities that you may be currently grappling with internally.

When we dream of being in a city, we are often focusing on aspects of our social or work lives. Walking with your boyfriend suggests that in order to move forward you would like to embrace the male qualities that he represents to you (for example assertiveness, autonomy, confidence, protection) and are reflecting on your relationship to them within yourself.

When you ‘turn into an alley’ this shows us a more intimate insight into the dynamic that occurs around your expression of these qualities. The series of events that take place in the alley show us another side to these male characteristics as they ‘turn into’ aggression, domination, betrayal and cruelty. Being exposed to this type of behavior can hit hard and hurt.

It is perhaps this experience that may have lead to a mistrust of your own masculine power. As a consequence your dream ends with you watching as all the male aspects depart, including the ones you would perhaps still love to engage with.

Dreams have an amazing way of creating opportunities for personal growth. I am sure you will see your social and work life take a positive turn as you gain confidence in your ability to assert yourself.