Dear Ian, Heard you on radio 2 and you were great so I would imagine I will be only 1 of thousands contacting you now.  My dream is always the same and has been for years – toilets!  Dying to go but no doors or huge queues or getting into a cubicle and there’s some reason it can’t be used. I found out a while ago that it’s something I need to get rid of in life but HOW CAN YOU DISCOVER WHAT???


You are absolutely right that toilet dreams are about needing to get rid of something. Usually what we need to get rid of is the fact that we nearly always put other people’s needs before our own in our waking lives. That’s why there are huge toilet queues in your dreams. You are always helping others fulfil their own needs rather than taking some time to look after your own needs. You put the needs of others in front of your own and so you always end up at the back of the queue.

There is a very simple method to begin resolving these dreams and fulfilling your own needs and that is by using the word ‘No’. Even though it might upset you to turn down a request for help, you need to put your own needs before the needs of others. This is not being selfish; you can only really look after others when you really look after yourself. You don’t have to say ‘No’ to everything, just the things that are not fulfilling your own needs. Try starting off with some smaller issues and then work your way up to some more important ones.

As you do this, you will begin to set personal boundaries that you and other people will come to respect and the doors will begin to reappear on your toilets as you give yourself some private space to attend to your own needs. An unusable toilet symbolises that the way that you are currently asking for your needs to be met is broken in some way and is not having the effect that you desire. The clearer you set your personal boundaries, the more clearly you will be able to ask for your needs to be met. All your toilet dreams show that you dying to have your needs fulfilled by others but didn’t know how to make that happen. All you need to do is to say ‘No’ now and again and then clearly state your needs.