my lover dreamed she was looking for a house. I was there and sometimes I turned into a cat,  also she told me not to stand too close to her as my wife was around

When we dream, a house usually represents our own self, so your lover is trying to establish her own sense of identity. She see you as part of her identity and part of her life and you turning into a cat suggests that she feels she needs to take care of you and be intimate with you. However, she finds you a bit too independent and mysterious and she is also concerned about how close you seem to your wife and how much your wife knows about your relationship with her.