One of the dreams that can cause most anxiety for someone in an intimate relationship is that their partner is having an affair. The dream often takes the form of the sudden realisation that their lover is being unfaithful followed by a witnessing of the act of betrayal.

When we dream about being betrayed by a lover, we are usually reflecting on the fact that we are betraying ourselves in some way. It may be that we have abandoned a creative project that is close to our heart, Although we might rationalise it is for the best in waking life, our unconscious self feels let down and betrayed.

It may also be that we feel vulnerable in a situation and do not want to reveal our true feelings. This can happen in a workplace situation or with an intimate (and sometimes both…), and by hiding our intentions and emotions we unconsciously realise that we are letting ourselves down, as well as others.

One of the most common triggers for dreaming about an affair is boredom or impatience with our current partner. Rather than voicing our feelings in waking life, we project our own unresolved restlessness on to our significant other.

A dream of an affair often tells us it is time to stop fantasising about who we might be or could be with, and actually look at practical ways to become the person we really want to be. The most powerful way to end the affairs in which we only ever betray ourselves is to be honest and open about our own needs and desires.

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