Dear Ian,
Can you help me with a dream my 70year old mum has been having a few times over the last week.    She was widowed 4 years ago after being married for 52 years.  At first, it took her a long time to accept that my dad was gone and as time has gone on she as gradually got over this. While visiting her last week, she told me that she has a recurring dream that while she is back at her childhood home,  as an adult, she is cleaning the house with her late mother, who passed over 30 years ago and my late auntie of 20 years,  she can see my dad coming to pick her up as a young man in his army uniform while carrying a red rose.   My dad has not been in the army for over 35 years.   Please can you help as my mum thinks this is some sort of sign that she is on her way to meet her maker!!

When we dream of a house, we are usually reflecting on our own sense of identity and who we really are. Cleaning her childhood home as an adult indicates that your mother is looking back over her life and maturely letting go of old worries and fears. Your grandmother and your auntie symbolise wisdom and grace, so your mother is realising how wise and gracious she has become in waking life.

Your uniformed father represents courage and independence and this shows that your mother has been learning how to become more independent after your father’s passing. The red rose he is carrying symbolises their deep and mutual love for each other. The rose is also a symbol of vitality and hope and shows that your mother’s self awareness continues to blossom..

Our dreams form a vital function in storing our memories and establishing our sense of self identity. They help us to draw on our entire life experience to meet what ever challenges we might encounter in our lives.  So rather than this dream being a sign that your mother is on her way to meet her maker, it is a healthy affirmation of her vitality and an ongoing celebration of her long and loving life.