Hi Ian
I keep having a dream that a man is offering me a cigarette to smoke. I can’t understand this as I don’t smoke in real life –  in fact it really disgusts me. In the dream I take the cigarette from the man and he lights it for me. I start smoking it but immediately start to cough and choke. I keep smoking it though and feel really terrible when I finish it and finally stub it out. Then the man offers me another one and we do it all over again. I wake up expecting the bedroom to smell of smoke but am so relieved when it doesn’t. Am I going crazy?

In this dream, your addiction to cigarettes is reflecting a situation in your waking life where you are feeling out of control. This lack of control is unsettling for you, so you may it difficult to acknowledge whatever it is that is causing this disruption in your life. In the same way that a smoker habitually craves a fix of nicotine, you have some deep need or desire that keeps drawing you back into a certain situation.

Even though you know that this situation is detrimental to you in the long term, it is giving you a buzz that you can’t get anywhere else. The man offering you the cigarette suggests that your deep need is probably to be in a loving and intimate relationship. You are trying to do this in your current relationship but your coughing and choking shows that you find it difficult to clearly state your deepest needs to your partner.

This makes it difficult for you to maintain a healthy relationship and keeps drawing you into back addictive and destructive behaviour. Although you keep trying to end the relationship, you always go back for more and it makes you feel terrible. It’s time to quit!